don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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