and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
