Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
