Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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