WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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