Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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