You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think my moral compass just broke
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