i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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