And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
