im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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