Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This is not my ceiling
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize