You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
