i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
