If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
