I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
