Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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