my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
