It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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