Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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