just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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