Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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