try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
