I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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