you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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