it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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