i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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