i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
