butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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