Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
