i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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