i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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