My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
