I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
