Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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