would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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