Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
