I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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