Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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