So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize