That's intense
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
