new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
