Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
