I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm at about main and main street
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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