butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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