Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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