I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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