apparently the secret to your success is patron
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
