He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
