it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
