When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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