Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
