i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
