apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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