I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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