He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
time to smoke my breakfast
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
