idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize