Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
