They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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