dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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