My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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