His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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