Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
