Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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