Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
