She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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