the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
