her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found puke in my bra..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
