How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just want nice things and good sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
