I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
