You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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